Dating Over 50: Are We Doing it Right?

Dating as a christian woman over 50?

It’s Complicated

I didn’t grow up in church, and I didn’t become a born-again Christian until I was about 40. So I came into faith with a past—marriage, children, divorce—and a deep desire to follow Jesus faithfully in this new life.

Now, in my 50s, I’m dating a wonderful man within my faith. We’ve been together for almost five years. No ring. No plans for one soon. And honestly? I’m not sure I’m ready to bring another man into my home or ask my boys to accept a stepdad.

But here’s the tension: as Christians, we’re taught to date for marriage, not for the sake of dating, and definitely not for sex.

So what happens when your real Christian life feels like it doesn’t fit perfectly into that model?

Is It “Wrong” to Date Without a Clear Plan for Marriage?

The Christian world often talks about dating as a path to marriage, especially for younger singles. But dating in your 50s as a Christian woman is different:

·         You may not want to remarry right now.

·         You may be protecting your children or grandchildren from unnecessary upheaval.

·         You may desire companionship, but you don’t want to compromise your faith or boundaries.

·         You may be wrestling with loneliness and physical desire while striving to honor God.

These are real, valid struggles—and God is not surprised by them.

What Does the Bible Actually Say?

Scripture is clear about honoring God with our bodies (1 Corinthians 6:18-20), about avoiding sexual immorality, and about the beauty of marriage.

But the Bible doesn’t lay out explicit rules for modern dating, especially for Christian women in midlife with layered family dynamics. This is where prayer, discernment, and community accountability matter deeply.

Can You Date Without Rushing Into Marriage?

Yes, if you are intentional:

·         Communicate your boundaries early and clearly.

·         Guard your emotional and physical boundaries.

·         Involve God in every step through prayer.

·         Stay connected to a community that will speak truth and encouragement into your life.

Questions to Ask Yourself

·         Is this relationship helping me grow closer to Jesus or pulling me away?

·         Am I honoring God in the way I’m handling this relationship?

·         Are we maintaining sexual purity and clear boundaries?

·         Am I being honest with myself about my desires and fears?

·         Am I willing to trust God with my future, even if it looks different than I expected?

Companionship Is a God-Given Desire

It’s normal to crave companionship, to want someone to share your day with, and to be seen and valued. God designed us for community, and this longing is not shameful.

But it’s important to remember that your worth and identity are not tied to whether you remarry. You can live a full, faithful, joyful life as a single woman, whether you eventually remarry or not.

“Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4

Trusting God With the Unknown

You don’t have to have all the answers today.

You can love Jesus, love your children, love the person you’re dating, and still not be ready to marry again—and that’s okay.

God sees your story. He knows your past, your heart, your fears, your desires. He will guide you as you seek Him.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

A Prayer for Christian Women Dating in Midlife

Lord, You know my story, my heart, and the desires I carry. You see the loneliness, the hopes, and the fears I feel. Help me to honor You in every relationship I enter, and give me wisdom and courage to set healthy boundaries that align with Your Word. Show me if and when to take the next step, and help me trust that Your plan for me is good, even when I am unsure of the future. Amen.

You’re Not Alone

If you’re wrestling with these questions, know that you’re not alone. God cares about your heart, your desires, and your struggles.

You can date while honoring God, seeking His wisdom, and protecting your peace. It’s okay to move slowly. It’s okay to desire companionship while maintaining biblical boundaries.

Your worth is not defined by your relationship status but by your identity as God’s beloved daughter.