Born Again Doormat??

As Christian women, we’re taught to be kind, generous, loving, and to serve others with open hearts. We’re called to turn the other cheek, go the extra mile, and lay down our lives for others.

But does that mean we say “yes” to everything?

Does it mean we let ourselves be stretched so thin we’re exhausted, bitter, and burned out? Does it mean we never get to rest, say “no,” or step back from toxic relationships?

Where’s the line between being like Jesus and becoming a doormat?

Friend, let’s talk about boundaries, because the real Christian life is full of challenges—and Jesus Himself shows us how to navigate them.

Jesus Had Boundaries

It’s easy to believe that “good Christians” are always available and never say no. But the Bible shows that even Jesus set clear boundaries.

·         Jesus withdrew to pray (Luke 5:16). He knew when He needed time away to connect with His Father.

·         Jesus said no to certain requests (Mark 1:35–38). The disciples wanted Him to stay, but He moved on to continue His mission.

·         Jesus walked away from dangerous situations (John 8:59).

·         Jesus set boundaries with those closest to Him (Matthew 16:23, when He rebuked Peter for trying to stop His mission).

If Jesus set boundaries, so can we.

Love Does Not Mean Limitless Access

Scripture calls us to love our neighbor, but it does not mean abandoning ourselves. In fact, Mark 12:31 says:

“Love your neighbor as yourself.”

You are included in that command to love.

Galatians 6:2 says, “Carry each other’s burdens,” but two verses later, Galatians 6:5 says, “Each one should carry their own load.” It’s a reminder that while we help others, we are not responsible for fixing everything for everyone.

Boundaries Allow You to Serve From a Place of Health

God cares about your well-being. Overcommitting can lead to resentment, exhaustion, and bitterness—none of which honor God or serve others well.

Boundaries are not walls of selfishness; they are gates of wisdom. They protect your ability to love others without losing yourself.

Where Do You Need Boundaries?

Here are some areas many of us struggle with:

At Work: Protecting family and Sabbath time.
In Family Relationships: Refusing manipulation, saying no to toxic patterns.
With Adult Children: Supporting them while letting them take responsibility.
With Neighbors: Helping without enabling or losing peace.
In Marriage: Communicating clear expectations and respecting personal needs.
In Church: Serving without overextending to the point of spiritual and physical burnout.

You can say “no” without being unkind. You can say “yes” without abandoning wisdom.

What Would Jesus Really Do?

He would serve in love and step away to rest.
He would help others and point them to take responsibility.
He would speak truth in love, even when it was uncomfortable.

Jesus would not become a doormat for others to wipe their feet on.

Practical Scriptures for Boundaries

James 1:5 – Ask God for wisdom.
Proverbs 4:23 – Guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
Matthew 5:37 – Let your yes be yes and your no be no.
1 Corinthians 14:33 – God is not a God of confusion but of peace.

What About When the Church Asks Too Much?

Serving is a joy and calling, but you are not called to sacrifice your health or family to maintain programs or fill every volunteer spot.

If your “yes” to church service is causing bitterness, neglect of your family, or spiritual emptiness, it may be time to step back. A healthy, rested you will serve God’s Kingdom more effectively than a burned-out version.

A Prayer for Boundaries

Lord, thank You for showing me that boundaries are wise and loving. Help me to discern where I need to say “no” so that I can say “yes” to what You have for me. Give me courage to set healthy boundaries with love, grace, and wisdom, so I can serve You from a place of peace and faithfulness. Amen.

You Can Be Kind, Loving, and Boundaried

Friend, boundaries are not unchristian. They are biblical. They honor God and protect the mission He has given you in this season of your life.

You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to say “no.” You are allowed to protect your peace so that you can live the real Christian life God is calling you to.

You can be kind, loving, and boundaried.